XXV

Its been just over a month and a week since I turned 25 and I haven't been this confused about life since I was 13. Granted back then my confusion was on how to take off a girls bra (which I've mastered) and how to get a girl to let me take her bra off (work in progress). Now my confusion seems to be between my former party persona and my responsible real world identity. That and running for the House of Representatives.

For the past few years I have always made fun of the notion of being an "adult" and "responsible" but on my birthday that reality came crashing through my door like a drunk frat boy roommate during pledge week. At least responsibility didn't have a 300-pound busted sorority girl in tow. Since then my mind has been torn between mature planning and reckless abandon.

A friend recommended I organize my thoughts in relation to other 25 year olds around me. I'll start simply with what I will call the “responsible adult”. This 25 year old has been exposed to the real world for several years and a career for at least half of that time. They are the type of person who won't hesitate to do work on weekends, plan and cook their meals for an entire week, and go to the gym as if their life depended on it. Though a noble breed this class of adult lacks spontaneity and a vivaciousness for life. Perfectly content to avoid impulsive activities and spend their time planning out the day ahead. Though I do not fear this designation, I am hesitant to embrace it for fear of the mundane.

That fear leads me to the next type of 25 year old we'll call the “Wayward Quarter Lifer”. This individual goes out until 5AM on a Monday just for the hell of it. Be it bar, house party, trip to Mexico or a party boat this person weighs all of their options and goes for the one that will exhaust them the most. Known for their ability to run on two hours of sleep and a diet consisting mostly of red bulls, these crusaders keep the entire 25 year old stigma young and reckless. Traditional job related responsibilities do not apply to them since they work to play and nothing more. This is probably the loudest voice in my head but thankfully the others are working together to drown it out.

The final and most terrifying of these personas is the “Progerian Adult”. This is the person who graduated from college, got married 5 seconds later, and are already firing out babies like a t-shirt cannon at a Celtics game. These people have not only embraced responsibility they are treat it like a drunk prom date. They have no idea what they are doing but they keep going. I worked with an individual like this at a previous job and could not be more baffled by his addiction to being tied down. He had his own demons to battle though. I saw his “Wayward Quarter Lifer” come out on one or two occasions and let me just say that repressing those urges will only lead to making an ass out of yourself when you release them. Thankfully he picked up the tab.

These are just some of the voices that have sprung up in my mind since turning 25. A weight of thought and introspection has continued to grow inside my head threatening to destroy my impulsive ways for ever. Bills vs bars, travel vs savings, Shots vs....well I am going to keep drinking shots but you get the point. Its not that my youth has gone away but there is a new bully on the playground who threatens to take my lunch money from here on out and I will be damned if I don't have enough for chocolate milk!